From Surviving to Living with Purpose

Niyaz Brandenburg’s story is one of incredible survival and transformation. From being adopted as a young child and experiencing profound neglect and abuse, to struggling with anger, depression, addiction, and ultimately losing both legs after a near-fatal night of drinking, this story has included more pain than most of us could imagine.

But that isn’t where the story ends.

In the midst of some of his darkest moments, he encountered God in ways that changed how he saw his life, his future, and his purpose. Today, he shares his story not because the hard things didn’t happen, but because he believes God was with him through all of them.

The Beginning

I was given up for adoption shortly after I was born. We believe it was within the first week of my life. However, the orphanage told my adoptive parents that they didn’t have any background information about me. Then, they would say things that were clearly part of my background, so it never really made sense.

As a child, I was very angry with my birth parents for giving me up for adoption. I wanted to get revenge on my birth mom, but at the same time, I desperately wanted to meet her. I wanted to see her and know what she looked like. I wanted answers. I wanted to know why she gave me up for adoption.

The Orphanage

While I was at the orphanage in Kazakhstan, I experienced abuse and neglect.

Children were sometimes left with bottles propped up for them, and they would tie children to the corners of their beds while they sat on a potty so they wouldn’t have to change their diapers. I was also beaten with a belt for what they considered poor behavior, including crying. I was even beaten with a belt for crying when my adoptive parents had to leave for the day while they were visiting me at the orphanage. The first day I stayed with my parents, they gave me a bath and saw the marks from the belt.

We also had very little food. It was mostly apples, watermelon, and broth. My adoptive mom said that I was so hungry that I would eat an entire apple—including the core and stem. When my parents first brought me to the apartment to stay with them, I would go into the kitchen over and over again throughout the day looking for food. There wasn’t enough food to satisfy me, and I would have eaten anything.

Coming Home

When my parents tried to take me home from Kazakhstan, I had a complete meltdown. I cried and screamed as if I were being kidnapped.

Even while I was still in Kazakhstan, I had severe behavioral issues with my adoptive parents because of the abuse and neglect I had experienced in the orphanage. I would bite, kick, spit, and hit my parents. Sometimes I would black out and not remember what had happened.

When I came home to the United States, my parents immediately got me into counseling because of my behaviors.

Things continued to escalate over the years with my immediate family and extended family. I felt extremely jealous of my brother because he had come from a Christian foster home in the Philippines where he was loved and cared for. He didn’t have the same trauma I had experienced, and he didn’t have the behaviors I had because of my trauma. He had a good connection with my parents and relatives, while I never seemed to be able to have those same relationships.

I never felt like I could get close to my family because I never felt loved or understood. I didn’t trust anyone.

I was in and out of mental health hospitals and residential treatment centers because my parents couldn’t handle the behaviors I was experiencing as a result of my trauma.

Angry at God

I did go to church with my parents when I was growing up. I didn’t have any strong feelings toward church or God until I reached my teenage years.

At that point, we started attending a non-denominational church, where I became involved in the youth group. Unfortunately, I had a very bad experience there. The youth leader excluded me and made me feel like an outcast once again.

After that, I lost interest in church. I was angry at God for allowing me to go through everything I had experienced.

As an adult, I eventually stopped having the terrible behaviors I had experienced as a child, but I began struggling with depression. I closed myself off emotionally. I didn’t trust anyone, and I felt like I had no compassion for others. That was when I started drinking alcohol.

I used alcohol to numb the pain I was carrying, although I didn’t fully realize that at the time.

The Night Everything Changed

When I was 24 years old, I went out drinking with friends. I became so intoxicated that my friends had to help me into an Uber because I could hardly walk.

When I got home, I wouldn’t get out of the Uber. The driver had to practically pull me out of the vehicle. I walked up to the house, took off my socks and shoes, and passed out next to a bush outside. It was about 2:30 in the morning.

My parents got up the next morning and got ready to go about their day. Around 10:30, they eventually went outside to run some errands. My dad found me and my mom came outside and thought I was dead.

My dad noticed that I was making some noises and knew I was still alive. They called 911.

When I arrived at the ER, my body temperature was 80 degrees, which is usually fatal. My legs were like frozen meat. They were solid white and hard.

Later that day, the doctor told my parents that they could not save my legs. They also told them that my blood alcohol level was .50%, which is usually fatal.

I was placed in a medically induced coma for seven days because of the pain in my legs from being frozen. I was eventually transferred to a hospital in Milwaukee, where I was awakened from the coma.

When I woke up, I shared an experience with my parents that I had during the coma.

I was asked if I wanted to live or die. I’m not sure who asked me, but I believe it was someone from heaven—someone like Jesus or God.

I chose life.

But then I was sent to what seemed like hell. I was lying on a wooden table, unable to move, while my arms were being burned. It was extremely painful. It was completely dark, and I couldn’t see anything. However, I could see strange torture tools around me.

Then I called out to God. I saw a light. I was drawn into a tunnel and lifted upward. Then I woke up.

Finding Purpose

Approximately five months later, I had what I call a spiritual enlightenment.

I had been struggling since losing my legs and had difficulty wanting to live. But during this experience, I felt that God told me I would get my legs back when I die.

That changed me completely. For the first time, I knew that God had always been with me.

He wanted me to have an open heart. He wanted me to become softer and more like Jesus. He wanted me to show others the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

He gave me a purpose to live and a reason to share my story.

I had a taste of heaven. I can’t fully explain what that experience was like, but it made me want to keep fighting for my life. I felt God strengthening me when I was weak. He knew I needed Him.

There were several times when I cried out to God because of the struggles I was facing after losing my legs. I asked Him why this happened. I was frustrated. I was angry. But I felt Him telling me that everything happened for a purpose.

He wanted me to share my story and He told me that I will have one last big battle in my life. But I don’t fear it.